what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
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