my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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