Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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