Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
well you can't waste a boner
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
