just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
