i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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