Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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