I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
