am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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