There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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