i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
