dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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