in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
