so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i may or may not be watching the land before time
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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