Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
