I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
