we have pet lesbian snakes
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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