You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
