i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
