The maid of honor just puked.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
