broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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