She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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