Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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