Don't you send me to vm
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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