yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
