Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize