I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
