Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
