i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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