So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize