420 ftw
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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