He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
