Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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