Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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