he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sorry my hands just texted you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
