so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
