I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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