You work out of a Hotel?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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