How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
