I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
