Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
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we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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