she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
