He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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