i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
