ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
