I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
