she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
