Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
