so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
