Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize