Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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