Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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