I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
