sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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