Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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