She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
