Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
