found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
