Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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