I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
