highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
