Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
