I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
