Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
